Addicted

I recently re-discovered my love for making cards :) I'm in the process of putting together a huge stash of holiday cards (will post pictures once it's time to mail them out)

Here's a project that I worked on this weekend for a friend who is going to India this week. The order of pages is same as the order of the pictures. The windows open to show photos of the various times we've hung out together over the last couple of years. We were roommates for a little over a year, so it was hard choosing which pictures to include! I've not included pictures with the photos on the card, but this is just to give you (whoever bothers to read this blog anymore) an idea of what I've been working on! She's going back to India to get married, so please join me in wishing her all the best for this next stage in life :)

Finished Pieces

These are 2 of first few completed pieces! I'm really thrilled with how they turned out :)

There are times when you listen to songs and feel like they've been written for you. This is one of them...

"I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
To the place where I belong,
And where love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home."

--"Home" by Daughtry

Learn to be Still

I've been at home for over 2 months now. For a person like me, who is so used to having something to do or some deadline to meet, it has felt like torture at times. Unless I make a conscious effort, the only people I meet are those in my family and that's when they come back from school or work.

I woke up this morning and realized that a whole year has passed since I passed out of college and there is just about a month left before I fly away. A house has been fixed up for me, clothes have been bought. A new chapter is about to begin. I've done a million things things in the last year. I managed to live in a totally different city on my own. I learned how to bargain in flea markets (maybe not entirely, but it's a start!). I learned that nothing can beat the feeling of meeting old friends and being able to share the same magic that we once shared. I thought about growing up. I miss the days running around the neighbourhood, kids on cycles and dogs faithfully wagging their tails behind us. I miss sleepovers. Those long conversations about issues that seemed so life-threatening at the time. I miss it all.

There is always something calling to me to travel more, to get out there and experience new environments. In the world we live in today, there seems to be very little time to stop what you are doing and appreciate 'now'. Being still requires practise, taking stock of yourself, your actions, thoughts and feelings.

I can be still in the literal sense but have an inability to relax. I'm always thinking. But I'm tired of thinking. I'm ready to sit down and learn to be still.

Summer of '69

It's amazing how human beings can be such creatures of habit. And as much as I hate to admit it, I am no exception.

My grandparents' home in Bangalore has always been my second home. I write this not to imply that anything has changed in this regard but because I'm totally overwhelmed at how different a place is even when one person is not around. It's the people that make a 'home'.

My grandparents' old house was called "Shanti Nilayam", which means "abode of peace" and this home meant a lot to all those who passed through it. It was on the outskirts of the city and it was here that I was initiated into the community of tree-climbers & kitchen-counter conversationalists :D My grandparents believed in all of their children and grandchildren being brought up as citizens of the world. They were one hell of a formidable team. The home generated love and togetherness. The home connected us with the rest of the world. The home...I'm beginning to sound like a cracked gramophone record.

The new house is just an extension of the old one. All the things that I said before hold true. But with my grandfather not around to make his physical presence felt, I feel a void. Something is missing. Most conversations have some sort of reference to how Appa would have liked it or what he used to say. Yesterday morning, we were sorting out things in the cupboard and came across a whole bunch of things that belonged to Appa. The Air Force uniform cap, old photos, scrap pieces of paper with his writing on it, notes of encouragement to members of the family..anyone who came across it would get a glimpse into the enthusiasm, determination and vitality of this man, who I am so proud to call my grandfather.

We have so many things to learn from the likes of him. If I'm even half as determined as him during the latter part of my life, I would consider myself very lucky. The motivation and urgency with which he went about his daily routine (even at the age of 94) so that he could live life to the fullest, would most definitely put a majority of us 20 year olds to shame. There are so many memories of him that will remain with me for as long as my memory is intact; a thumbs-up before we embarked on that eventful journey by ambulance from Vellore to Bangalore, that hug I got on the last day I saw him..the last goodbye. Appa's always been my hero and any older male has and will probably always be compared to him. I love you, Appa..I probably didn't tell you that enough during your lifetime but Bangalore just doesn't seem the same without you.

Tuesday's gone.

[This is something I wrote a few months ago. Thought it was apt to add this to my newly made blog]


Rewind.....9-10 months ago...

Summer's set in on good old Vellore. You can tell by the way everyone avoids leaving their rooms in the sweltering afternoons unless they want to risk complete dehydration and planning their walks around campus based on which building has decent bathrooms or water coolers :P

It's at times like this..that you feel like DOING something. ANYTHING! It must be the heat, you tell yourself..the only solace are the brief food breaks (essential for sanity) and 15 minute breaks in an A/C lab. The end of college still seems eons away. Who thinks about stuff like that anyway?

May 2007

We're almost done. With each passing day, we try pushing it further and further into the background. Nobody talks about it. I guess if we don't talk about it, it might not happen..

But with whatever we did..the inevitable happened. Every day had a new person to say 'good-bye' to. You try and keep a straight face..smile and wave..but even the slightest degree of emotion on the other person's face can make the hardest nuts to crack sob like a little baby when their backs are turned.

It ended with pregnant silences that seemed to leave everything and nothing unsaid (ironic,huh?); hugs with each person hesitant to let go; promises to meet again, to keep in touch, tears. But above everything else, it ended in a feeling of emptiness- a hollow feeling that eventually gave way to the realization that a way of life had just been laid to rest, and that this chapter of our lives had finally come to a close.

Present Day

People have moved on. Conversations only occur when a real effort is made. The old voices never fail to make you smile :) The old pictures now remind you of what seems like a distant memory. You almost have to pinch yourself to feel the pain at times. It feels like that candle has been snuffed out leaving you in total darkness.

There's talk of a reunion. Will that ever happen? God knows. The enthusiasm dwindles. But come what may..you still hope that you share the same magic with those people. That you can pick up from where you left off. That there's something left to rediscover when you go back!

The memories never fail to make you smile :) Those were happy times. The good life. When you could pick up the phone and talk for free! Those long drawn out conversations about some vague concept (which seemed important at the time). It's those memories which we all hold on to. Times moves on. People do too. But nothing can take away the memories of those times :D They did happen..and that small candle blowing in the wind will continue to burn for as long as those memories live on.