Spring cleaning

I'm moving out of my apartment next week and hopefully on to something new. It's amazing how much junk I've collected in 2 years!

In other news..I've been taking pottery lessons over the last couple of weeks. May post pictures of my creations soon :)

25

My trip to India this time was quite an eye opener for me on several levels. One of those moments being this sudden (or maybe not so sudden) realization that I will be turning 25 in less than 6 months. It was on one of those numerous hospital check-ups that someone checked my file and realized that the age had been printed wrong –“Oh! You’re going to be 25 soon!! :D”

There is something about the number 25. In terms of age, it is like the first 'real' transition point in your life according to most social norms. This is that age most mothers give themselves as a deadline to have their daughters married. It’s an age by which you should have started to realize that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. In other words, this is the age when you finally begin to feel old!

Change IS the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. My opinions have gotten stronger. I see what others are doing and find myself judging more than usual. I realize that I have set myself certain boundaries and expectations in my life (ever changing, mind you). I’m constantly adding things to my mental list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

When I was a girl, I was in such a hurry to grow up. I wanted to be taken seriously. I didn’t want people to think my brother was ‘the older one’. I wanted to wear make-up, high heels, be my own person with no one telling me what to do. And now that I am 24, I would do anything to get back to being just ‘young’ again and without a care in the world.

During my visit, I realized that a lot of my classmates from school were engaged and most of them will be married by the end of the year. Few of the girls are already mothers! I realized my teenage friends have moved on with their respective lives (so have I). These were the people with whom I used to roam around with, fight over the last drop of the communal Pepsi bottle and laugh at every little thing without caring for tomorrow. People with whom I discussed everything that troubled the teenage ‘me’. They suddenly seem to have gone on into a different part of the world. And yet, we all still hang on to those good times for comfort and marvel at how things have changed since then :)

I noticed that my parents have developed quite a substantial amount of white hair, were beginning to complain about pain in their knees and knuckles, even alluding to the fact that they will not be around forever. It dawned on me that my grandmother looks more frail than my usual memory of her. I didn’t want to leave..I wanted to stay and soak in all the warmth I got from them and have them at close quarters.

The constant question from everyone I met was “When do we see you next?” I started to feel insecure, wondered where I will be in a year or two and then chickened out because I don’t even know what I’ll be doing six months from now.

The thought is pretty overwhelming though. Twenty-Five, by the end of June I would have been on this planet for a quarter of a century. SHOCKING!!!

Man is a social animal

Okay, okay, I’ve been out of the circuit for quite some time now, I agree….

Was just going through the grinds of life…and still am, but I am tired of making it an issue!!!

What do you do to beat the blues? Especially the nasty, horrible oh-god-it's-Monday-so-soon kind of blues? What inspires you and keeps you going? If you're sharing, I am listening.

You may wonder about the title of this article, I have to admit..I did :) It's one of those quotes that we heard in school (where one had to write countless essays on the topic) and yet somehow if it comes up again, there's still so much to write!

Why is man a social animal, why is it that we feel the primal need to socialize as strongly (and sometimes more) as the need to feed? I read somewhere recently that the first few weeks of the new year usually see the highest number of suicides and depression cases. If you think about..the reason seems simple enough. Christmas and New year festivities have died down. The new year resolutions have been broken by now and getting back to work after all the 'happy times' is not exactly joyous for most people. I'm sure the weather also has a role to play in all of this. It has been at least 5 days since I have seen the sun for any significant length of time. The snow has long melted and it is dreary, dull, wet, cold and grey outside.

And then you have the opposite side of the coin. When people become too familiar...you're spending way too much time with someone and they're getting on your nerves! The closer we get, the more negatives we find; the farther away we go, the more we remember the good times.

Lost

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost

Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
I'm just waiting till the firing starts
And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
I'm just waiting till the shine wears off…

-'Lost' by Coldplay

Collide

It's been months since I actually posted anything here and I thought it was time I broke the silence :)

Over the last few months, I've noticed a pattern in my behaviour. I love having my own space to retreat to when I feel all prickly. I read, I write, I listen to songs and behave like they've been written for me, about me..I curl up on my bed until I muster enough energy to get out and hang out with the frinds who matter. This is to all those people..for being there :)

"Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find you and I collide"

-Collide by Howie Day

Wrong Direction

In India, people don't follow road rules. You'd be deemed crazy and probably run over if you attempt to maintain some semblance of order for any extended period of time. After a while, it becomes apparent that this lack of 'rule-following' spills over into other walks of life; cutting in line, walking, crossing the road!

Case in point-

1. We think it's just fine to join our friends in a line which extends half-way up the block and consists of people who came half an hour before us.
   
2. When in groups, it has been observed that we walk like we 'own' the road; we cover the entire width and eye-ball people coming in the opposite direction (as if they're the ones who are causing an inconvenience to us).
   
3. Crossing roads-don't even get me started on this one! We have this weird form of red-green colour blindness, where in we consider both colours as an indication that we can cross the road :)

Have you ever noticed while walking down the street in the US that people always walk on a particular side and you'll find a 'desi' walking on the side he's not 'supposed' to be on? It's hilarious! The Americans probably think we're crazy because in their minds, 'left' is "right". Little do they know that unless we're brain-washed at an early stage, 'right' is always going to be "right" for us :)

So to all my fellow road-blockers out there..Jai Hind! May we cause even more confusion in the hallways, wherever we go!

We Are Family

I seem to be back to my once-a-month random posts :P bleh..

Two trips to NYC in a week..it's been crazy!!! But I couldn't even begin to describe how totally different these two trips were.

Case 1 : 6 friends from Philly decide to try and cover as many touristy things in New York that they can fit into 2 days. Madame Tussuad's, Empire State, Times Square (walked up and down for some reason or the other at least 6-7 times!), Rockefeller Center, Statue of Liberty, Wall Street, Ground Zero, Brooklyn Bridge, Little Italy, Jackson Heights. I think we would have easily walked around 30 miles (read 48 kms) in those 2 days.
We stayed in this 'hotel' which had small cubicles as rooms. It reminded some of us of prison cells and if you want to be a little more imaginative - those tiny bunks that you've heard exist in battleships ;) There were rules stuck in every possible crevice - "Don't be afraid of your freedom", "Please try not to slam doors or talk in your room after 10pm when your neighbours may be SLEEPING." , "Please flush frequently. Do not over stuff the toilets with paper. They clog easily. We appreciate your cooperation.", "Price subject to change according to customers attitude". Boy, were we glad to get out of there in the morning!
Overall..it was a trip to remember :) I'm pretty sure that the next time we go, we probably won't be staying overnight!

Case 2 : The congregation of 3 cousins. I just loved it. I haven't necessarily met these cousins many times before. There were the usual doses of chaotic family get-togethers, weddings and brief house visits. And there we were, all well into our 20s (as much as we'd like to deny it :P) , attempting to make a new beginning. Laughs turned into giggles and then eventually snorts over nothing much in particular :) Conversation flowed..opinions were exchanged..we had a lot to catch up on!
What I found weird was that even after all the years that have passed, we still had some vague sort of connection. Numerous attempts to get in touch earlier had failed for some reason or the other. But what was nice, was the fact that it had worked out this time :)
It's a refreshing change to meet someone after so long and for them to accept you unconditionally. For them to probably have more faith in you than you might have in yourself and vice versa. The fact that you can just kick back and relax - be yourself. I guess that's the magic of family. I just needed to be reminded of that..